New Year, Same Me

Happy new year! The last week has filled my social media feeds with resolutions and talks of blessings. I feel that, I so feel that. This year has been surreal in both good ways and bad. 

My resolutions this year for myself are to embrace the new mental toughness I was forced to adapt in 2019, and to do something kind for someone else, friend or stranger, once a month for all of 2020.

It’s truly difficult to smile and put on a happy face when you’re going through cancer treatment or dealing with the body discomfort from head to toe afterwards. I ended 2019 at the doctors office getting a CT scan because my doctor feared I was having appendix issues. Good news; not my appendix. Bad news; the lining of my stomach is inflamed and I need to go on medication for the next few months to fix it. It’s causing what the doctor called “referred pain”. Basically my chest, shoulders, and stomach ALL hurt because my digestive tract is irritated. My whole body hurts and I feel like crap. I’m going on 2 weeks of feeling horrible and just trying to get through it. Everything. Hurts. I still go to work. I still went grocery shopping and made all the food for our NYE party with the kids. I still carry Evelyn up and down the stairs when she asks me to. Everything hurts, but when you’ve decided to just muscle through it, that mental strength pushes you forward.

With all of the help and kindnesses bestowed upon me in 2019 I want to do what I can to repay the world. It’s not as much as I’d like, but it’s what I am able to do.

So cheers!

Cheers to another year in the books. Cheers to friends new and old. Cheers to family, those by blood and those we choose.

Cheers to remission; it came at a cost I’m still fighting to repay (both literally and figuratively). Cheers to all the babies that came in 2019 or are brewing right now.  Cheers to patient teachers, who without them my child and I would be lost. Cheers to the easy kids and the difficult.

Cheers to the fur babies, who despite my husbands annoyance make my house feel like a home. I want more, but will control myself. Cheers to the husband who’s at the end of his rope some days, but somehow keeps finding a way to hang on. He never sweats the small stuff, and I could truly benefit from taking a page out of his book.

Happy New Year. Let’s hope 2020 is bright, shiny, and when it’s not let’s hope we all get through it in one piece. The best is yet to come. ;-)

https://youtu.be/mQIZ-Esbg_c