My emotions have been all over the place lately, which
brings me to my dilemma. I have a
friend. I really like this person. I think they are fun, funny, a blast to hang
with, we share many of the same opinions, and we have kids the same age so it’s
easy to find common ground. They were
there for me through this whole crazy cancer thing, super supportive, and a
great friend to have around when I needed it.
Lately, there has been a clear disconnect, but I’m not sure where it’s
coming from. It isn’t every time we talk,
though… Some days I feel it, and other days I don’t. Today is one of the days I felt it. I’m not sure if I should ask this person
about it, or just let it pass like it has seemed to do the last few times it’s previously
occurred.
When I say clear, I mean this person is short with me, if I
try to invite them out or make plans with them they blow me off, when they
discuss doing something we’d usually do together they extend no offer to me
(and I’m not one to invite myself), and moments after being cold to me, a thing
I could blow off as just busy or having a rough day, they turn around and joke around and give off their usual warm personality but toward someone else.
Am I jealous? No. Am
I sad? Very.
This is someone, like I said, whose company I truly enjoy, someone I appreciate. I’d like to
continue being friends, however, one-sided friendships aren’t friendships at
all. I could distance myself from them
the way I feel like they’re starting to do to me. I can put them into the acquaintance category
and move on. It’s difficult though,
especially when it’s someone you really like and who you think is a pretty
amazing person. If this person no longer wants to be my friend, I'll be totally bummed.
The easy answer is obviously talking to the person. If we are as good of friends and I thought we
were, it shouldn’t be that difficult, but it is. If I confront it, and this truly is the end
of what I thought was a good friendship, I think it’ll hurt more than trying to
ease myself out of it on my own terms and in my own time. I am paranoid that because my
emotions are all over the board thanks to dear ole menopause, I could be
reading this all wrong and things could be totally fine. If it's nothing, and they have no idea what I'm talking about, then I'll feel silly. Am I just being overly sensitive?
My biggest hurdle to get over is myself.
I don’t feel very confident in my emotions
since the hysterectomy.
They truly are
bonkers.
I don’t want to jump to a
negative conclusion when there’s really nothing there to be worried about.
Yet, the last 3 weeks I haven’t been able to
shake this feeling. I bought myself a cup over the weekend that says "Worry less, Live more." If only I could.
This person doesn’t read my blogs, they aren’t very active
on Facebook. So, I come to you, people
who read my blogs, and ask you… am I just being a big baby? Do I give up? Do I talk to them? Do I do
nothing and wait it out? I just don't know...
Cancer sucks, treatment sucks, it has SUCKED, but it's OVER. 
