PoOp

Poop, or bowel movements, have always been an entertaining topic for me.  Years ago I had a daily desk calendar with poop facts for every day of the year. (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/home-gift-2019-daily-calendar-whats-your-poo-telling-you/32591234)  Why people shy away from poop boggles my mind.  Everyone does it. We have to train our kids to do it in a toilet. It's a natural thing.  Sure, it can be stinky, but who cares? It’s a fun, and funny topic. 

When you are on any kind of strong medication, whether it's an anti-nausea medication or a pain killer, a common side effect is constipation.  You know what else can constipate you? Chemotherapy.  So, picture if you will, receiving chemotherapy which makes you nauseous, so in turn you take an anti-nausea pill to ward off the pukes, and although it's bearable, you end up stopped up for a week after from both!  I can tell you without a doubt that just about all of the 16 rounds of chemo I had to withstand had the same result.  I’d suffer through it until FINALLY I would take a good shit and feel better.  There is something so amazingly satisfying about cleaning out your system after not having been able to go for a few days.  It’s like all that toxic waste you’ve been accumulating finally gets out and you are a whole new person!  I’m not wrong.  Think about it… I can’t think of a time I feel physically better than right after I take a good dump.

So, who do chemotherapy and other medications cause constipation?  Mostly it’s your body’s natural reaction to something that should not be in there.  Would you believe CIC (chemo-induced constipation) and CID (chemo-induced diarrhea) are among the leading causes of having to reduce a patient’s chemo dosage?  Each type of chemotherapy has its own special set of bullshit, but one thing they all have in common is they cause constipation, diarrhea, or both. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5093116/)  Think about that… not being able to shit, or not being able to stop shitting, lead the way in reasons someone would have to stop receiving the medication killing the cancer inside of them.  What a crazy thing to imagine!  Here I am complaining I can’t poop the first 5 days after treatment, and there are people who can’t even RECEIVE treatment because there issues are so bad.  Go ahead and check out the chart of all the different chemotherapies… it’s crazy! 

Side note: In the 5 months I received chemotherapy, the first 3 months I received Paclitaxel (Taxol) and Carboplatin (Paraplatin), and the last 2 months I received Cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan) and Doxorubicin (Adriamycin).  They all sound fun, don’t they?

The American Cancer society has a whole treatment page dedicated to helping patients poop: https://www.cancer.org/treatment/survivorship-during-and-after-treatment/staying-active/nutrition/nutrition-during-treatment/constipation.html  Diane, the NP who works with my oncologist, wasted no time at the beginning of treatment telling me exactly what I had to do to try to stay regular… and I DID everything she told me to.  Even after following her instructions I struggled for days after, but luckily I never had any long lasting and serious issues. 

Today is day six since my last round of AC.  My stomach was killing me yesterday because by then I’ve usually gone, and I hadn’t yet.  Let me tell you… this morning I finally let loose, then was able to go again after lunch.  I feel amazing this afternoon, all thanks to being able to take a poop!

Final Round of Chemo

On 3/28/19, after five months of chemotherapy, I received my final treatment.

The day began a little hectic.  Monday the 25th my oldest had a fever and came down with a stomach bug. Luckily he was at a friends house, and the mom who is a good friend of mine, kept him while he was ill.  Thursday, my middle child woke up with the fever and the same stomach bug.  He was too sick to leave the house, so my mother-in-law Shelly came over to sit with him until Tyler could get home to bring him to my last chemo festivities, which we did not want him to miss out on.

My best friend Desiree picked me up around 9:00 AM.  Dez brought along her camera and not only took a ton of photos for memory purposes, but also for a course she was taking.  I was happy to help her with school!

Treatment began as it always does; I had my labs drawn and met with my oncologist.  Dr. Pierce and I were both excited to be completing this part of treatment.  We took a selfie and exchanges hugs.  I headed back to the infusion area where I presented Lara with a gift, put a gift on Diane's desk (NP), and presented the rest of the girls with a gift I'd made for all of them: a pair of boobs made of suckers with a sign that says "CHEMO SUCKS".  It was a big hit.

Dez and I sat in the infusion room waiting for my lab results, as usual, and just chit-chatted until it was verified that I could begin infusion.  There was a woman and her husband in the room with us.  Her husband had a few good one-liners, but they were both pretty sleepy and we did not talk too much.  Lara came in to begin infusion, and the entire time we joked, laughed, and reminisced on the last five months.  The finality weighed on me, but I was able to keep my composure... until it was time to ring the bell.


The chemo bell; it's a joyful sound that rings through the infusion area when someone has completed their chemotherapy treatment.  The patient gets to ring the bell to their hearts delight.  I didn't go too crazy, but I rang that bell hard.  After I rang the bell, got pictures with all of the nurses, and Lara took out my port access, that's when I cried; tears because I was afraid, tears of exhaustion, and tears of relief.  It was a very emotional moment for me.  Depending on the day, those five months felt like either forever, or a blink. There is no in-between.


My step-MIL Beth has a friend associated with a non-profit organization called "Pink Heals". (https://www.pinkhealslakecountry.org/) They do nice things for cancer patients to help them through, and Amanda (Beth's friend) basically organized the entire thing for me, I just had to give her details of my appointment.  "The entire thing" was a ride home in a big, pink fire truck named Tonya.  (Hence why we didn't want Shamus to miss out on the fun.)  Nurses Lara and Lisa came out with Dez and me to see the fire truck, and when we got outside there were other volunteers waiting with pamphlets, flowers, and hugs for me.  Amanda was able to make it too, and gave me a ton of gifts; a Pink Heals hoodie, a notepad, an inspirational book, and more!  Just having the fire truck there, and all of those people in support of my end of treatment, was amazing.  

Tyler brought the kids, and the boys absolutely loved the fire truck.  Myself and both boys were able to sign our names on it.  So many people from the hospital came out to check out Tonya, as well.  She was a popular attraction.

The ride home was bumpy but fun. Tyler lead the way in his car with Evelyn, while Desmond, Shamus, and I rode in the cab of the fire truck.  When we pulled onto our street, the driver blared the fire truck siren for a good 20 seconds.  I was mortified, but the boys were thrilled.  It was 1:00 PM so luckily most people were not home, but the few that were stuck their heads out to see what was going on.

When I got home, Dez sent me a ton of photos from the day, and I posted on social media with details of all of the fun we were able to have.

It felt like closure to ride home in Tonya.  I am happy to be finished with chemotherapy, but the next steps come with their own struggles.  My double mastectomy is scheduled for 4/30 followed by a full hysterectomy on 5/20.  I am hopeful everything goes smoothly, but I am nervous.  This will be my first major surgery. I've had minor ones in the past, but nothing like this.

This chapter is closed, but the book is far from complete.  There is a lot of battle left to go, but I am going to fight this cancer... or I'll die trying.