Chemo Rounds 4-6

When I first started down the chemotherapy road, I had no idea how I would react to it. It was unclear if my side effects would be major, minor, immediate, or delayed. For the most part, the first type of chemo I was on (Taxol/Carbo) had minimal side effects for me. There were side effects, of course, but I truly lucked out with the severity. That being said, I was more comformable getting a ride to treatment, because despite not too many side effects, my brain was always fuzzy and I was always exhausted mentally and physically by the time infusion was over and it was time to go home. 

Round three of Taxol I started to experience neuropathy in my right hand, just two fingers but that was enough to know I wanted that to stop! At the recommendation of a friend who’d previously gone through treatment, I picked up gel ice packs to wrap around my phalanges for future treatment. I began icing effective treatment round four.

Round four was a milestone treatment. I woke up the morning of 11/29/18, took a shower like any other morning, and that’s when it happened… the hair began to fall out in my hands in giant clumps! I didn’t panic, instead I ran to Walgreens, purchased from pink hair dye, and called Kaitlyn to come buzz my hair into a Mohawk. (Hey, if it’s going to go, it’s going to go down in style!) Kaitlyn came over and worked her magic! I had a bright pink mohawk.  Later that night we bleached it and re-dyed it to get a brighter color! My step-mom-in-law Beth came with me to round four, and this was a carbo week.  When I wrote this was a milestone week, I mean that in many ways. Not only did my hair begin to fall out, but I also met another triple negative breast cancer patient; Marsha. What a bright star she is.  She was nervous because it was her first round of dense dose taxol. I talked to her, tried to calm her fears, told her I had very little trouble and to be optimistic. Lara looked at me and said in just a month I went from being fearful to helping calm others’ fears. Beth was crying, Lara was crying, I was choked up. She was right. It was a big moment for me. That day Beth also gave me a journal to write in that was meant to be given to Evelyn. It was writing prompts and questions, and I began writing in it that following weekend.

The weekend after round four was rough.  The body aches, fatigue, and overall mental exhaustion after receiving both taxol and carboplatin made me unpleasant to be around, and I know it. My poor husband.

Round five I decided to try on my own. I drove myself and took some puzzle books to occupy myself.  A gentleman sat next to me in the infusion room, and I’d heard him tell Lara he needed a quiet room. She suggested he sit with me, and his response was “do you have anything quieter?” Lara responded with “oh I promise you she’s your best bet”. She was right of course. I never complained, never had complications, never needed anything. Aside from talking with whomever came with me usually I didn’t need to talk. So, the man and his wife settled in and I kept quiet and did my puzzles. To be honest I think the Mohawk made him nervous. And then... he decided to strike up conversation with me. His opening line was “You look too young to be here”, to which I responded “I feel too young to be here”.  He didn’t stop talking to me the rest of my infusion. I’m not complaining, he and his wife were sweet. They had european accents I couldn’t quite place, and told me all about their three kids, asked about mine, and told me how they found his cancer during a hernia surgery. I told them a little about myself, too. I found that driving myself wasn’t something I should do. They give me Benadryl before taxol as a precaution, and I knew I was probably too sleepy to drive home after. I made it home safely, but made the choice to try to find rides for all future appointments.

Between round 5 and 6 my hair really began to fall out. The Friday after round 5 my aunt and uncle came over and shaved their heads with me. Then Saturday my friend Johnny came over and shaved his head, followed by my brother shaving his head on Sunday. The outpouring of support was both humbling and necessary. I don’t think my positive attitude would be as possible without the love from all of these people around me.

Round six my mom came with. It was pretty laid back. We chatted through infusion and I even felt well enough (despite being tired) to eat a giant hamburger afterwards when we went out for lunch. We even joked on the drive back to my house that in inhaled the burger in record time! Not too many side effects, and by round six it was obvious that wrapping my fingers and toes in ice was working, and my neuropathy was not progressing!

So many significant things happened between rounds four and six. Looking back it feels like it all happened to someone else, but then again all I have to do is pass by a mirror to remind myself I’m the bald one. ;)

Chemo Rounds 1-3

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, in those first few moments and days, I remember distinctly thinking to myself "Please don't let it be advanced enough for me to need chemotherapy."  I had watched my grandma go through it, I'd watched family friends go through, and I'd watched co-workers go through it.  It wasn't something I wanted.  Of course, within the first 2 days of diagnosis I knew there was no choice, especially for the type of breast cancer I have (triple negative).

The chemotherapy itself is awful, but the experiences I've had and the people I've been surrounded with for the last 5 months have made chemo one of the most amazing times of my life.  Do I ever want to do it again? Hell no!  But I would not trade these life changing moments for anything.  



My first round of chemo, 11/8/19, exactly one week after my initial diagnosis, was the scariest.  My mother-in-law Shelly took me to my appointment with my new oncologist, and we both knew it was a possibility that I'd be starting treatment that day.  Sure enough I did.  The day itself went by in a blur.  I remember meeting with Dr. Pierce, and she went over every step of my whole treatment plan in explicit detail.  Any questions I had she answered promptly, and any concerns, even the ones I hadn't said out loud, she had addressed.  She was amazing to say the least.  I felt confident in my oncologist choice from the beginning.  
The next thing I remember is being lead down the hallway toward the infusion area.  They sat me down, told me they'd start me up as soon as they could, and put me in the only private infusion room since it was my first time there.  (This was the only time I sat in the private room.)  Shelly, still with me, fired up her lap top and let me shop for head scarves.  Even writing that brings tears to me eyes.  We were all afraid, not just me.  I have cancer, but everyone in our family is battling it right along side me, and has been from day one.
In that tiny private infusion room I met my infusion nurse, Lara, for the first time.  She is spunky with short, spiky grey hair.  She reminds me of my Aunt Deb; direct, sassy, and awesome.  She set me up with an IV, we had the awkward exchange of first meeting one another under difficult circumstances, and then she let us relax.  
Diane, the NP came in after that to give me more education on the treatments I was about to receive.  She was also direct, informative, but most of all she gave off the warmest, most caring vibe.  She was easy to talk to and ask questions.  This was another selling point for me, and gave me more confidence in my oncology team.
Chemo began with carboplatin & taxol; rounds 1, 4, 7, and 10 I had carbo, all other weeks only taxol.  As Lara began my infusion, Shelly took my photo, and my social media cancer announcement went live.  I felt OK after infusion, until Saturday.  The carbo hit me like a Mac truck. I experienced fatigue first and foremost, but also body aches, head aches, chills, and an overall feeling of mental fuzziness.  Round 1 was done, it wasn't pleasant, but I survived.

The week between rounds 1 and 2, my sister-in-law Kaitlyn cut my hair in preparation for the inevitable hair loss. Even after just one round of chemo, my hair had become dry and had a rough texture.  Shelly came with, and my step mother-in-law Beth stopped in to give me wine (yay!) It was a fun night, we laughed, joked, and hung out.  I felt anxious when I arrived, but by the time I left I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.  I usually have a striking resemblance to my mom, but after the cut it was even more so.

Round two was stressful.  The morning before infusion I had day surgery to have my power port put in. (info on that found here:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_(medical) )  I arrived at the hospital around 6:30 AM, had my procedure at 9:00 AM, and went down to infusion by 11:00 AM.  It was a flurry of activity, but I met an amazing surgical nurse named Michelle who was going through literally the same treatment I was, and had the same type of breast cancer I do.  We've been friends since!  Tyler had dropped me off, and my friend Kayla accompanied me to chemo and drove me home.  While Kayla kept me company we talked about her mom who had just beaten breast cancer, we talked about her upcoming wedding, and she took a photo of me holding my power port brochure.  This infusion took less time, as it was only a taxol week.  I found that the weekend after only receiving taxol I was still mentally fuzzy, slightly fatigued, but mostly felt like myself.

By round three I felt I was finally getting used to treatment. My husband Tyler took me to my 3rd infusion.  I was able to start joking with Lara and it started to feel like I was where I belonged.  That may seem strange, but you bond with people under the most stressful of situations. The gentleman I sat with in infusion may have been the grumpiest man I’d ever met, but his wife was sweet. These were now my people, and it was starting to feel less foreign.  I made a little sign for my 3rd round to post on social media, Tyler took my picture, and so the photo diary continued.  Because I had only had taxol round three, the weekend was much the same as round two.  I had some mild side effects, but for the most part I felt OK.  I knew I was lucking out and it was too good to be true.  The week after round three my pinky and ring finger started to experience periodic tingling and numbness, then finally it evolved into sharp, stinging pains.  Round three brought on nephropathy, a common side effect of taxol.  I had been previously warned this could happen, and another friend going through treatment suggested icing my fingers and toes to help ward it off.  I went to the store that weekend and purchased gel ice packs for future infusion. I also had some chest pain the Tuesday following treatment. I ended up in the emergency room fearing a blood clot in my lung or heart attack. Luckily it was just muscle pain from chemo...

Overall, the first three rounds were a learning experience, but mostly about myself.  The outpouring of support included a lot of "be brave, be strong, you can do it!"  I appreciated, and still appreciate, any and all support, but let's be honest - I don't have a goddamn choice now do I?