In
my twenties, as a young mother, I always strove to be a good parent, but I was
also going to college and working full time trying to make myself an asset to
the company I worked for. I worked two or more jobs at any given time; some
self-employment, others not. I wanted to feel professionally
accomplished. I still do, but it doesn't hold the same weight as it once
did.
I
haven't worked a second job for many years now, but recently I decided to do it
again. This time, though, it's different. This time the job isn't for extra
money or to achieve something significant professionally. This time I got a job
where I felt like I could do some good. After my LiveStrong class was complete,
I got a job at the YMCA. During
one of our last LiveStrong classes I was talking with one of the instructors,
telling her that I've been working in the industrial field, but that I would
really like to do something to help people. So many people helped me when I was
going through cancer, and it meant more to me than I could possibly express. I
want to pay it forward. The instructor recommended I apply at the Y. The Y is involved in so many
wonderful things within the community that any position there could provide a
positive impact. I looked into it, found a position I knew I could do (the
business office), applied, and got the job.
I
am still working full time as a CSR in the industrial field. That hasn't
changed. Now, however, I am also working at the YMCA with renewed passion. My
passion in the industrial field was always based around the thrill of the sale and
my confidence in my chemical compatibility knowledge. It's my strong suit. It
just isn't giving me the satisfaction it once did. My priorities shifted when I
was battling breast cancer. So many people had influence in keeping my spirits
up or helping me get through rough patches. I want to be that for someone. I
want to help someone else who is having a hard time. There are so many forms of
"help", and the Y is a way I can do that. It's only a few hours a
week, but I am there helping people be healthy, signing people up for
memberships, and giving back by donating to the Y for their various free
programs they offer for people like me...
The
biggest problem with trying to give myself over, even for just a few hours, is
I miss out on time with my family. Yes, doing good and helping other is
something I feel passionate about, but nothing in this world supersedes the
importance of my family. Every part of my yearns to be near them when I'm not
at home. Even going to the 9-5 job Monday-Friday leaves me missing my children,
missing my husband, and wishing I could just be NEAR them all of the time. It's
not just my children and husband either; I call my mom almost every single day
now. I never did that prior to cancer. We would talk once a week, maybe text a
few times, but now... now it's almost every day. My 17-1/2 minute drive home
from work belongs to my mom. My brother and I were always close, and I try to
stay in touch with him as often as mom, though it's not as easy. Many times
prior to the last few weeks, he was on our phone calls. He works 3rd shift now,
but we are still finding time to hang out and talk.
My point is, the shift is significant. Working is a means to an end; it pays my mortgage but it doesn't give any extra meaning to my life. All that matters to me is being a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister, and a good friend. Everything else is only there because the world says it has to. I don't need to do anything else professional to be satisfied or feel accomplished. If my children are happy, if the people that I care about are happy, and if I can help even just one person while working at the Y or at my full time job, then I am satisfied in every way I possibly can be.
I
could go on and on. I find myself thinking about my friends often. I think of
all the ways they improve my life and all the added value they give to the
world. I've got an incredible group of friends, most of whom I've known for 20
or so years. Some are from high school, some from jobs I've worked, and others
through one of those high school or work folks. I am lucky to have them in my life,
and feel like they deserve their own blog. One of these friends is doing this
amazing thing where she posts on Facebook every Sunday honoring someone she
respects and values. She calls them her "person of the week." It's
this beautiful thing where she gets to build up people in her own way. I want
to do that too, in a way. Maybe I'll blog about it... I just want the people I
care about to know how much I care and value them. Some know, but others...
maybe they don't know how much they mean to me. I want to make sure they do.
My book club gives me closeness with many of my friends, and while it isn't all of my friends it's quite a few. It helps fill a social void I ignored for a long time. Not only do we get to hang out, but we also get to talk about good books. That in itself is something I won't ever give up again. Good books. Speaking of friends, I finally tried Jujitsu after years of my two best friends insisting I give it a try. My favorite part of that night; spending time with them.
Anyway - to summarize my priorities have shifted to PEOPLE. That's really what matters, isn't it?
