Origins: Brave Betty Hashtag?

If we are lucky, at some point in our lives someone enters our world that is a kindred spirit.  This person is someone who thinks like you, shares your opinions, finishes your thoughts, and understands you without needing explanation.  I have a few people I would consider “best friends” in this world, but as for the kindred spirit, that position is exclusively reserved for my cousin Kathleen.  She might be my cousin by relation, but she is my sister by heart.

Most of my childhood vacations,  memories, and experiences include her.  Now that we are grown women, she continues to play an irreplaceable part in my life.  We laugh at the same crude jokes, we find the same things annoying, and we value the same things in life.

Me, Grampy, & Kathleen

Kathleen was one of the first people I called when I received my diagnosis.  She knew I was headed to the doctor, but like many of our conversations we figured it would be a routine check-up.  I’d end up with a breast cyst, we'd laugh about how afraid I was to go to the appointment, and we’d move on.  It didn't pan out that way.
The first week of my diagnosis was spent in constant communication with her.  She was the shoulder I had to cry on about all my fears, not only of beating cancer, but making it through this battle while not driving my family into financial ruin. 

My husband and I both work, and me being off for treatment was going to be a burden I was not sure we would be able to handle.  She assured me everything was going to be fine. Somehow, someway, she would help me make sure it would all be alright. 

Kathleen is the driving force behind the “Go-Fund-Me” page that was created to help us get through my cancer treatments.  Prior to going live with the page, she spoke with some other family members who had previous experience with it, and was able to get a good idea on how to set it up.  It has been, and continues to be, a necessary part of our lives now.  I have been missing anywhere from 1-3 days of work each week since the fight began.  Our finances have taken a big hit, and unfortunately we aren’t wealthy enough to have a solid nest egg to fall back on.  
So, where did the #BraveBetty come from?  Well, Kathleen of course.  When the cancer fight began Kathleen wanted a hastag that would trend and be catchy.  She threw a few ideas out at me.  
My full name is Elizabeth, most people call me Beth.  She came up with a few things like #BethStrong, #BraveBeth.  Fun fact: my husband is 15 months younger than I am, and he doesn’t like to let me forget it.  Our inside joke, or rather HIS inside joke, is to call me “Grandma Betty.”  I love it, I won’t lie.  Kathleen decided to embrace our inside joke, and asked me what I thought of #BraveBetty.  I don’t know why, but it felt right.

From the moment I went public on my Facebook page on 11/8/18 with the cancer news, the same day I began chemotherapy, I became #BraveBetty.  Truth be told, without all of these people in my corner, especially Kathleen, I wouldn’t be as strong or as brave as I am.  I might be #BraveBetty, but so is everyone else who’s been behind me since this all began.
You can donate to the Go-Fund-Me page Kathleen set up by visiting either one of these two URLs:  www.FuckCancerBraveBetty.com  or  https://www.gofundme.com/6ddj4hs

Brave Betty Backstory

Most of the people who will read this blog entry already know most of what the last 4 months have looked like for me.  I have been trying to find a good way to get through this new type of chemo without losing my mind, so I thought I'd try my hand at blogging again.  I've written blog entries here and there throughout the years as a form of self-therapy, so why would breast cancer treatment be any different?
First things first, below is a timeline for the beginning of my breast cancer journey:

• I stopped nursing Evelyn the second week of May; she was just shy of 13 months old
• Approximately 2 weeks after I stopped nursing, I started to have digestive issues. I couldn't find a root cause.  I am lactose intolerant, and I tried eliminated ALL dairy from my diet. It did not improve.
• Saw my doctor in August after months of trying to self-correct my digestive issues. He ran blood tests and did a fecal culture.  Everything came back normal. He referred me to a GI specialist.
• I did a diet similar to Whole30 where I eliminated, then slowly reintroduced food groups back into my diet to see if we could figure out where my issues were coming from. The diet helped, and I started to see improvements with my digestive system, but I still didn’t feel 100% myself. The GI specialist thought maybe I had an MSG intolerance, but things just were not adding up.
• I got my Flu shot on September 7th, 2018, in my left arm.
• One week after my flu shot my arm pit began to hurt. I found what felt like a swollen lymph node under my arm.
• Two weeks after my flu shot the lymph node was still swollen, and the pain began to spread into my chest.  After following the trail of pain I found another lump, this one on the left side of my left breast.
• I ignored both of these lumps for 3 weeks before calling my OB/GYN, thinking it was a side effect of the flu shot.
• October 25th, 2018 saw my gyno for an exam.  She didn't sound overly concerned but ordered a mammogram and ultrasound since I am over 30.
• October 31st, 2018 I went in for the mammogram and breast ultrasound.  My mammogram tech and I goofed around, joked, had a good time.  She took 6 photos of my right side, and then moved to my left.  She stopped around 20 photos, which seemed like a lot to me but who knows, right?  She asked me to wait in the waiting room in case I needed to come in for more photos, also fishy, but again what do I know, right?  She did call me in for 6 additional magnified photos of my left breast, then I went in for my breast ultrasound.  During the ultrasound, the U/S tech was less talkative, but still extremely friendly.  She showed me the masses she was looking at, then asked me to wait for a moment.  The next few moments are where it became apparent that this wasn't routine.  The radiologist came into my ultrasound and no one was smiling or joking anymore.  She sat down next to the table I was laying on and told me I had multiple markers for breast cancer; the mass in my arm pit and breast were both solid masses (bad sign), there were clusters of calcium deposits around the breast mass (bad sign), and she said a few other things, but if I am being perfectly honest it's all a blur now.  Those were the two that stuck out most in my head.  Well, those... and the word CANCER.  I tried to call my husband, but I had no reception inside the imaging center.  I ended up having to text him everything that was happening, since each time I tried to call, the call dropped.  I was messaging a few coworkers I am close with, my boss, and my best friend.  Sparse details, but enough that they knew what was going on.  The radiologist told me they had an opening that afternoon and could do a biopsy that day if I could stay.  I did.  Without hesitation, I stayed, and then I went back into work afterwards. I was a mess.  I cried a lot.  But I went.  The radiologist told me she would call me the next day with news, either way.
• November 1st, 2018 I was on edge the entire work day.  The few people who knew what was going on kept asking if I'd heard anything.  Finally at 2:20 PM my cell phone began to ring with a familiar Aurora Healthcare phone number.  I know I was shaking when I answered.  It was the radiologist.  She wasted no time and got straight to the point. "The biopsy results came back, and they were unfortunately positive for cancer".  She then proceeded to tell me the type I had, not exactly, but enough that I could start my google search that night.  By some miracle, Rachel, a coworker who had recently gone through breast cancer herself, was walking through my department while I was getting the call.  My face must have said it all because she rushed over to my desk.  To say there were tears would be an understatement.  I left work shortly after getting the news. I called my husband, my cousin, my 2 best friends, and my ex-husband. I picked up my daughter on my way home, and then my husband and I spent the evening crying and trying not to panic.
• November 2nd, 2018 I met with my nurse navigator, Pam.  They waste no time.  She walked me and my husband through every painful detail that we were about to experience, and she did so with a calm I will forever be thankful for.  I had been a mess for 3 days, and for the first time Pam was able to give me some resemblance of control over my situation.  I took all of the oncologist and surgeon information she gave me and looked up the doctors like crazy.  I opted to not get a second opinion, and begin treatment asap with the doctors I had chosen.  I went with a breast surgeon name Julie Kepple.  Everything I read about her online made me feel confident.  I went with an oncologist named Brenda Pierce. Her reputation preceded her.  Everything I read about her online said she was feisty, aggressive, and the right one to have on your side.  That is exactly what I want.  I want someone as determined as me to beat this.  Pam also recommended I look into genetic testing due to my age and the type of cancer I have (triple negative.)
• We spent the weekend telling our friends and family the news.  It felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else.  I also announced to work right away.  I was having a lot of anxiety, and it was easier to lay it all out than to try to hide it and contain it within.  I tend to be an open book, and this was no different.
• November 5th, 2018 I met with Dr. Kepple to go over my surgical options.  Many of these options were dependent on other factors, the biggest being if a genetic mutation was in fact found.  A total removal of the left breast was recommended, and if a genetic mutation was found she recommended a double.  I knew I would go for the double regardless.
• November 8th, 2018 I first met with Dr. Pierce.  She was a breath of fresh air, and she was ready to start treatment right away if I was.  And just like that... my chemotherapy journey began...
  

...It should be noted, since I began cancer treatments I have tried adjusting my diet to eliminate artificial sugars, I buy organic foods when available, I buy free range chicken only, grass fed pork and beef only, and I follow Kathy Bero's  (https://www.kathymydlachbero.com/) "eat with intention to heal" cancer fighting foods list.  I haven't had any digestive issues since I made these changes.