Success looks different to everyone.
To my oldest, it meant getting recommendations from 2 teachers to be accepted into an AP class as an incoming freshman, ending 8th grade with 6 A's and 2 B's, and hopefully getting his first real job this summer. He's one amazing child.
To my middle child it was passing 6th grade. Sure, it's with a D average, but he passed! I am hoping 7th grade is easier on the both of us, because I am not sure my nerves can handle much more of his student style. My tear ducts are starting to run dry, as well.
For the youngest, it means not crying when I left her school's "last day" picnic at lunch time. She's had some health ups and downs this year, but she is one tough cookie, and I think we've rounded a corner! She's going to rock 1st grade next year.
As a mom, it feels a lot like my success directly relates to their success. If they are happy, that's all I really need. My personal successes all take a back seat to them and their needs, and I honestly love that. I wouldn't want it any other way. There are times in my life, sometimes unexpectedly, where I am reminded just what exactly being a mother means to me. It means sleepless nights. It means stomachaches. It means panic attacks. It means putting myself second most of the time. It means respecting myself and my children enough to stand up for myself and the boundaries I've created for myself when it comes to that aspect of my life, both with them and with others. It also means happiness beyond anything I could've ever imagined. It means taking the bad with the amazingly great. It means everything to me.
On the topic of success - for me personally, aside from school, success has meant not obsessing over the multiple scans I've had over the last month and a half. I had my 6-month check up with my oncologist on 4/27. I had a few complaints, which lead to a CT scan, which lead to a follow up MRI, which lead to being told I will now have follow up MRIs every 3-4 months, to watch a mass on my liver as well as check-ups with my oncologist after each of those MRIs.
While being this close to my 5-year mark feels like a step forward, this mass feels like 2-steps back. The good news is, there is no evidence that it's cancer. The bad news is, they have to watch it make it sure it isn't going to turn into something more concerning. Like I said, I am trying very hard not to obsess over it.
Summer vacation is here! It's a time for relaxing, vacations, camp, weddings spending time in the backyard with the family, and not worrying if someone has an A or a D. I look forward to the next 12 weeks a whole bunch. :)
