The chemotherapy itself is awful, but the experiences I've had and the people I've been surrounded with for the last 5 months have made chemo one of the most amazing times of my life. Do I ever want to do it again? Hell no! But I would not trade these life changing moments for anything.
My first round of chemo, 11/8/19, exactly one week after my initial diagnosis, was the scariest. My mother-in-law Shelly took me to my appointment with my new oncologist, and we both knew it was a possibility that I'd be starting treatment that day. Sure enough I did. The day itself went by in a blur. I remember meeting with Dr. Pierce, and she went over every step of my whole treatment plan in explicit detail. Any questions I had she answered promptly, and any concerns, even the ones I hadn't said out loud, she had addressed. She was amazing to say the least. I felt confident in my oncologist choice from the beginning. The next thing I remember is being lead down the hallway toward the infusion area. They sat me down, told me they'd start me up as soon as they could, and put me in the only private infusion room since it was my first time there. (This was the only time I sat in the private room.) Shelly, still with me, fired up her lap top and let me shop for head scarves. Even writing that brings tears to me eyes. We were all afraid, not just me. I have cancer, but everyone in our family is battling it right along side me, and has been from day one.
In that tiny private infusion room I met my infusion nurse, Lara, for the first time. She is spunky with short, spiky grey hair. She reminds me of my Aunt Deb; direct, sassy, and awesome. She set me up with an IV, we had the awkward exchange of first meeting one another under difficult circumstances, and then she let us relax.
Diane, the NP came in after that to give me more education on the treatments I was about to receive. She was also direct, informative, but most of all she gave off the warmest, most caring vibe. She was easy to talk to and ask questions. This was another selling point for me, and gave me more confidence in my oncology team.
Chemo began with carboplatin & taxol; rounds 1, 4, 7, and 10 I had carbo, all other weeks only taxol. As Lara began my infusion, Shelly took my photo, and my social media cancer announcement went live. I felt OK after infusion, until Saturday. The carbo hit me like a Mac truck. I experienced fatigue first and foremost, but also body aches, head aches, chills, and an overall feeling of mental fuzziness. Round 1 was done, it wasn't pleasant, but I survived.
The week between rounds 1 and 2, my sister-in-law Kaitlyn cut my hair in preparation for the inevitable hair loss. Even after just one round of chemo, my hair had become dry and had a rough texture. Shelly came with, and my step mother-in-law Beth stopped in to give me wine (yay!) It was a fun night, we laughed, joked, and hung out. I felt anxious when I arrived, but by the time I left I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I usually have a striking resemblance to my mom, but after the cut it was even more so.
Round two was stressful. The morning before infusion I had day surgery to have my power port put in. (info on that found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Port_(medical) ) I arrived at the hospital around 6:30 AM, had my procedure at 9:00 AM, and went down to infusion by 11:00 AM. It was a flurry of activity, but I met an amazing surgical nurse named Michelle who was going through literally the same treatment I was, and had the same type of breast cancer I do. We've been friends since! Tyler had dropped me off, and my friend Kayla accompanied me to chemo and drove me home. While Kayla kept me company we talked about her mom who had just beaten breast cancer, we talked about her upcoming wedding, and she took a photo of me holding my power port brochure. This infusion took less time, as it was only a taxol week. I found that the weekend after only receiving taxol I was still mentally fuzzy, slightly fatigued, but mostly felt like myself.
By round three I felt I was finally getting used to treatment. My husband Tyler took me to my 3rd infusion. I was able to start joking with Lara and it started to feel like I was where I belonged. That may seem strange, but you bond with people under the most stressful of situations. The gentleman I sat with in infusion may have been the grumpiest man I’d ever met, but his wife was sweet. These were now my people, and it was starting to feel less foreign. I made a little sign for my 3rd round to post on social media, Tyler took my picture, and so the photo diary continued. Because I had only had taxol round three, the weekend was much the same as round two. I had some mild side effects, but for the most part I felt OK. I knew I was lucking out and it was too good to be true. The week after round three my pinky and ring finger started to experience periodic tingling and numbness, then finally it evolved into sharp, stinging pains. Round three brought on nephropathy, a common side effect of taxol. I had been previously warned this could happen, and another friend going through treatment suggested icing my fingers and toes to help ward it off. I went to the store that weekend and purchased gel ice packs for future infusion. I also had some chest pain the Tuesday following treatment. I ended up in the emergency room fearing a blood clot in my lung or heart attack. Luckily it was just muscle pain from chemo...Overall, the first three rounds were a learning experience, but mostly about myself. The outpouring of support included a lot of "be brave, be strong, you can do it!" I appreciated, and still appreciate, any and all support, but let's be honest - I don't have a goddamn choice now do I?
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