Thursday, August 8, 2019

CAMP KESEM

Next week my children will be attending their first week-long summer camp. We drop them off on Sunday morning, 8/11.  It falls the same week that Shamus would usually go to Bucks basketball camp, but he decided he didn't want to go this year. So, that worked out. 

They will be attending Camp Kesem. https://www.campkesem.org/about-kesem 

Years ago, twelve years ago to be more specific, a friend of my grandfather's died of cancer. She was young, beautiful, and had two young daughters.  I didn't know her well but did go to breakfast with her and her family quite a few times with my grandpa in the years prior to her diagnoses. After she passed, breakfasts continued for a while with her husband, daughters, and my grandpa.  The younger of the two stood up as flower girl in my first wedding, and the older helped pass out the wedding programs.  I stayed in contact for a little while after, but did eventually lose touch. 

I was supposed to be my grandpa's "plus one" to the husbands wedding to his current wife years later but was sick the day of.  I would have loved to go.  I ran into them at State Fair three years ago while I was there for a concert.  It was a brief encounter, but I did enjoy seeing them.  I have been Facebook friends with the father and oldest daughter for years.

The girls went to camp each summer; Camp Kesem.  This was a detail of their life that I took for granted.  I thought it was wonderful that they had this amazing place to make friends who had similar family experiences as them, but I never imagined my children would be going.  I never imagined I would be the "Cancer Mom". Just typing that I’m starting to get weepy.

I am excited and nervous for them.  Desmond is surprisingly the more excited of the two boys. He is not thrilled about an entire week of outdoors and no electronics but told me today that he’s really looking forward to camp. Shamus is a little more nervous. He told me this morning he’s worried about not liking the food and staving the whole time. I explained this is a good opportunity to try new things, and maybe he’ll find out he’s not as picky of an eater as he thinks. (Wishful thinking.)
The boys get to pick “camp names”. Shamus chose “String Cheese”, and Desmond chose “Bones”.

The boys, Tyler, and I had a long talk about camp. We told them there will be other children there who’s parents aren’t done with treatment, who still have cancer and some that may even have parents who’ve died. The cancer journey is never really over, for the patient or their family. I can’t undo what they’ve been through any more than I can undo what I went through. I told them that I am hopeful that camp gives them a place to make friends who can understand the complexity of the emotions they’ve experienced over the last 10 months because they’ve been through it, too.

Camp Kesem doesn’t focus on cancer, it focuses on the children. There is only one day, from what I understand in the parent packet I received, where they really sit down and focus on cancer. Overall, though, it’s just a safe place for kids to be... kids.

I’m going to miss them. I wish I could be there and see everything they get to experience, but I know it’ll be good for them to get out there on their own with kids in similar situations as them. 

I desperately hope they have a good time and take only positive memories away from the experience. I hope they want to go back each year. I also hope there aren’t any phone calls home about bad behavior, but let’s be honest, if there are, it’ll be for Shamus.  Here is hoping for the best!



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