Pieces of the People I love

There are pieces of people I care about that I carry with me; a phrase or word, a song, an item, or a scent that takes me back to a memory.  They are unique to me, and it's entirely possible the memories and triggers aren't even recalled by these individuals that I think of when they occur.


I have a book, 'Twas the night before Christmas. It is one of those record-able hallmark books that my grandfather recorded and gave to my son Desmond for his first birthday. My grandfather is gone, and the story now means so much more to me. It's no longer just a clever poem about Santa Claus. Now it's the book Grampy recorded for Desmond, and his voice is all I hear regardless of who's reciting it.  That book, dandelions turned to puffy balls of seeds, willow trees, as well as the smell of coffee and taco omelets will always bring me back to him.  Ironically any time I eat cherry pie or green beans, both of which he hates, I also think of him.

The smell of a hospital first thing in the morning;

that sanitized, stale scent always takes me back to when I was 19 years old working in the cafeteria.  Odd as this may seem, the scent reminds me of my mother because she and I worked at the hospital together.  The smell of blueberry muffins also reminds me of her, and the smell of freshly cut grass.  Why freshly cut grass?  It reminds me of the summers of my childhood, which inevitably take me to some memory with my mom. A few other things that make me think of her as well are penguins and bells.  I can't go to the zoo, or see any penguin items in stores or on memes without thinking of her. During my childhood she collected various bells.  I remember playing with them as a child, listening to each of their unique jingles. These days, however, when I see a beautiful or different bell in a store I have to fight the urge to buy it for her since she doesn't collect them anymore.

Who doesn't love a good Qdoba or Chipotle burrito.  Chipotle is my favorite, and I can't eat it without my cousin Kathleen popping into my mind.  We have a shared love for it.  Anytime I hear a new dirty joke, and whenever I try a new restaurant regardless of what kind, she is on my mind. Michael Bolton, the smell of a camp fire, and the song "You are so beautiful" take me back to some memory with her.  The list goes on, but if I start going I wouldn't be able to stop. We have countless years of memories that we share, and it's easy for a million little things to bring me back to one that she is in.  Literally, she crosses my mind every day for one reason or another.  (It probably helps that we talk via text almost every day, too.)

I've got a raggedy old zip up hoodie with the words "The Walk" printed in red along with silhouettes of 3 figures; the Hanson brothers. It's the most worn out article of clothing I own, but I'll never get rid of it. Every time I look at it my mind goes to my best friend Desiree.  This item along with countless songs and artists (not just Hanson) bring me back to some memory with her. Music is this thread, one of the many threads, that binds her to me in my mind.  I can't look at a pair of roller blades without remembering two awkward teenage girls meeting up on them at various places the summer before sophomore year of high school. And Grey's Anatomy, yes the show, will always belong to us.  I don't hear Ellen Pompeo's voice without my brain instantly thinking of Desiree.

Montana, not the state, but the the word.  Any time I hear this word it takes me back to a dog; a redish brown mutt with the sweetest temperament.  He belonged to another of my best friends; Melissa.  I also get a vivid scene of a young woman sitting criss-cross on a hard wood floor singing "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree".  This song, along with most country hits between the years of 2003-2008 by Phil Vassar, Sara Evans, and Tim McGraw reel me back to some memory with Melissa.  Don't even get me started on flaming hot cheetos and Roxette.

The song "Twinkle Twinkle little star" will forever remind me of Desmond singing in the shower. The song "Uptown Funk" will forever remind me of Shamus. To this day he randomly bursts out in that song.  Elmo and Elsa from Frozen remind me of Evelyn right now, but I am sure those things with evolve as she grows.



These are just the big ones.  There are dozens of things that remind me of dozens of other people.  Memory is a funny thing.  Obviously these same sensory cues can trigger negative memories, too.  I have enough of them, that you'd think it would be as common as the positive ones. They are a rare occurrence, though. Maybe it's how happy I am and how positive my attitude is?  Thinking happy thoughts, being content with your life, and your brain naturally leans toward the happy memories?  Makes sense to me!